CONFESSIONS OF A WITCH GIRL: SAFETY
First off, a sincere apology to all of my readers for not posting as much in the last two weeks as I normally do.
I am going through a moment of ‘un-becoming’ so that I may become more. In this time it is essential to retreat in to my own mind and body as much as I can, and sometimes that means I cannot create as much.
This actually leads me in to the topic of ‘safety’ that I wish to discuss here in this post.
I have spent the last 5 days barely able to walk or move due to a back injury that kind of appeared out of nowhere. Yes I am quite physically active, but even that morning in the gym, no physical injury occurred of note. It was as simple as one moment I was blow drying my hair, the next moment I could barely support my own weight while standing.
I am too much of a witchy-woo-woo girl to not know for CERTAIN that all injury/disease/ailment that manifest in the physical body, first present in the non-physical body. So immediately after the severe pain of the injury had been placed under control via emergency chiro/medication, I began to search my energetic body for the source of this pain.
When in conversation with your own energetic field you are spoken to with ‘knowings’, visions, intuition. The moment I pondered the source of this injury I instantly knew it was due to not having my own back. I had made decisions the week prior that were not in energetic alignment with the frequency of my soul. I have spent the last four years cultivating a very safe energy within my own body for myself, and I feel I had put myself in a situation, or several situations the week prior, where I had not honored my own truth.
Upon sitting here writing this I can see there are a few places in my life I am not owning my own truth. The details of which are far too personal and complicated for this blog post, but it does seem to coincide with the pain in my lower back. If we do not support ourselves, ourselves can not support us.
The lower back is a pinnacle point in our energy system. It is our sacral chakra. The chakra where our feeling of safety is held. This is our grounding centre, the point at which our energy systems tether to the earth, holding us steadfast in the arms of the universe. When we block this chakra, whether through experiences, negative thought patterns, extreme beliefs of fear/lack/shame/trauma… this center’s energy can become stagnant, stiff, closed off from the world around it. If we do not feel connected through our energy systems to our Earth, to our own bodies… we will begin to deteriorate in different ways. Whether physically or mentally, I promise you it will occur.
So how do we create safety within this center? How do we begin to feel connected and safe through out all of life’s twist and turns? Through the ups and downs that sometimes make this fear arise that much more…
I have been contemplating this myself. This has been a constant battle for me over my entire adolescent and now adult life. The feeling that the other shoe is about to drop. Nothing is ever secure. These feelings of insecurity arise and trigger many other patterns, like a splintering of glass after the initial centered impact. The fear creates channels through the body and mind to flow its essence, sometimes almost drowning us where we stand. Choking us with thoughts of worst case scenarios and fear-filled predictions of our futures.
For me, I feel the most insecurity when I feel I have the most to lose. I start to dream up scenarios of how it can be taken from me, what disaster may strike before the events, experiences, or items I am excited for/about, are achieved, before they are mine. It is in these moments that the fear can take me, weaving webs of crippling doubt throughout my nervous system. Triggering blockages through out my energy centers and then my physical body follows suit.
It is in these moments I remind myself to slow my thoughts down. I am getting better at this. I slow down my thoughts and I imagine myself floating in stillness. In this stillness I realize I am held by nothing and by everything at the same time. I realize that only in my states of surrender am I on my soul’s path. I remind myself that no matter what happens I am on the right path, the path towards the highest expression of myself. Of my soul. I am moving towards my destiny by not moving at all, in that moment. I surrender to wanting and needing nothing, and I rest in the fact that whatever is meant to come will come, and whatever is meant to go will go. I am not running late, I am not arriving early, I am always on time.
We spend years tricking ourselves in to believing that we are in the wrong place at the wrong time. We aren’t doing enough, we are missing what is meant for us.
We aren’t.
Only the human ego is bold enough to believe it can mess up the destiny the Universe has planned for you.
You cannot escape your own fate. This almost sounds like a threat but it isn’t. You can’t escape your own fate but you can create it. If you listen to my podcast you know I go in to detail describing the difference between our fates and our destinies. Fate is the manor in which you arrive to the destiny that you can never miss. Fate is the energy you create your reality with through out your journey through the path of your life, the path that is always leading you to your destiny. To keep it simple:
Destiny is where you’re going. Fate is how you get there.
We get to co-create with the energies of the universe, to manifest the type of journey we are going to experience as we head towards our ultimate expressions. And guess what? If you don’t complete it this time around, you’ll pick up where you left off next time.
Your destiny truly can’t be missed.
I hope you find solace, faith, and trust in yourself through the words on this page. I hope it helped to remind you that you are always held, cradled, by the Universe. When you feel unsafe, stop flailing, you will float.
