CONFESSIONS OF A WITCH GIRL: Bewitched by the Eclipse

I woke up this morning feeling the best I have felt through out the onset of this sickness, but still not recovered. Over the last 3.5 days my senses were dulled, energy taken from me, and my ability to function and experience life was severely impaired.

I was unable to participate in the things that make my life worth living.

A trip I had been excited about for months was missed… work was missed… all physical activity was put on pause.

Although  it is easy to notice all that was lost over the last few days of being ill- something was also gained.

A perspective shift took place for me inside the flu soaked sheets I laid in for hours.

Though in the midsts of this sickness I couldn’t know for sure I would come out of, as nothing is certain in life, I was sure as one can be about anything- that I would be well again sooner or later.

I knew that my flu would eventually be over taken by my white blood cells. That the rest, and the fluids, and the vitamins I was consuming would eventually step in and conquer the foreign invaders wreaking havoc on my immune system.

But during this time I came to realize how short life truly is, and I don’t just mean in the terms of death. I felt a glimpse in to the fragile nature of how quickly all we take so for granted can be stripped from our experience. The things that we love, and love to experience, could one day, never be experienced again.

As we age, our senses will be dulled, our energy will be taken from us, and events we once enjoyed will no longer be as easy to participate in.

As I lay there the pressing thought of my own mortality came knocking at my door. The mortality of both my chronological life but also the life of my joy, my pleasure, my passions.

This thought has of course appeared before, but as a young woman, the thought is few and far between.

I am forced to admit that I have spent most of my 34 years on this Earth believing that I will always have my tomorrow to make up for my today. If I want to sleep walk through today due to victim mindset or sheer laziness, it’s fine, because there’s always tomorrow. Tomorrow I will love harder and try more and be better.

But then I asked myself, in the midsts of my fevered consciousness, is that how I really want to live? Always depending on my tomorrows to catch the remnants of my wasted todays?

Why would I project out in to the future that there is a time that will be better, more valuable, or more useful than right NOW.

What is this toxic thought that has infiltrated the masses in to the assumption that the clock ISN’T ticking- time isn’t running out?

The solar eclipse is upon us tomorrow and the time to take charge of our daily participation in our own lives is now.

Living for the weekend, for the evenings, for the tomorrows- is that really working for you anymore? Is it truly easier to accept that as your reality? Wouldn’t you rather focus your energy on what you WANT to create?

What does the life you truly want look like? What will it take to get you there?

What habits are literally robbing you of your own sacred presence?

I believe we can all have lives we don’t spend most of our time wishing away. When you are constantly living for your tomorrow, you are wishing away pieces of your life. Pieces of you.

This is your life. You only get this single shot at it as this version of you. No matter what it has looked like up to now doesn’t matter. Because yesterday doesn’t exist either. You can never ever go back to it.

Life is truly a series of now moments strung together. It is only in your now’s that you will ever experience living.

Tonight ask yourself what small incremental thing you can add to influence how you experience your NOWs. How can you bring yourself to be more present inside of your own life?

If being more present sounds horrible, feel in to that space and ask yourself why? What things need to be changed so you would want to experience being YOU as your self?

If you have time to, write it down. Write down the things you would let go of so that you could make space for all that you want to experience.

Be brave about it. Be courageous and bold and honest to yourself.

Then fold it up and place it on the sill of your window so that it may be present to the eclipsing light of the sun in the morning hours of tomorrow.

Magic is here now. Welcome it in and let your life transform.

Do it NOW, because after all, that’s all you’ve got.