confessions of a witch girl: seen or unseen
I have found myself creating to be seen lately.
What exactly does this mean? It means that whether I like it or not, I feel I am creating from a place of ‘what will this get me’, rather than from a place of ‘create because I am being called too’.
It is difficult to not look for what we will ‘get out’ of something when we are putting huge amounts of our time, energy, and resources in to projects that speak to our souls. Of course we want to see tangible results from our soul’s work. The complication here of course is, when we create from the ‘to be seen’ space, we often find ourselves falling short in our creative potentials.
How do we stop longing for tangible results when we so desperately want them? How can we keep our creative fires burning, just for the sake of it? How can we maintain our blind faith that our creations do have their own life purpose too, they also have a destiny to fulfill. Perhaps we are just the vessels within which their destinies are fulfilled, just as our bodies are the vessels that carry our souls so that they too can fulfill their purposes.
Patience can be a difficult thing, as too can drive. Sometimes creation feels futile at the end of a long day doing ‘human’ things. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is honor the creative call of yours, beckoning you to your keyboard, canvas, or whichever medium your calling is desiring to be expressed through. I understand this more than most. My whole life has been dedicated to the battle between my creative self and my complacent self. My magician and my escapist. To truly take on the destiny you are here to live will not always be easy, fun, or exciting. In fact I am here to tell you that at times you are going to hate yourself for your own desires, wants, goals, and dreams. You are going to wish those parts of yourself away at times, longing for your ambitions to be smaller. With smaller ambition comes less need for constant dedication, constant work.
I listened to a Podcast yesterday about the difference between the ‘magic’ of manifestation and the raw ‘grit and grind’ of it. Yes when we set our mind to something and we believe it with our whole hearts, of course the Universe will conspire to help get us there. Certain people may stumble across our paths that were sent to help us achieve our goals, doors will open that once seemed were welded shut. This is the Universe helping us. But we often forget that we must be actively walking the path in order for the universe to help us while we are on it. And sometimes the path is hard. Sometimes the path is complicated. Sometimes the path is an alarm clock at 430am so that you can take the steps you need to take each morning to take steps TOWARDS your goals.
The Podcast suggested that our vision boards be smothered in pictures of getting through the HARD ASPECT OF GOAL ACHIEVMENT, not JUST the end results of the goal achieved. She suggested that though your end goal should be clearly outlined, the visualizations you take part in daily to picture yourself in your dream reality should also include picturing yourself pushing through the HARD PARTS. Visualize getting up at 5am when that alarm goes off, to get to the gym, even though it is raining- or even snowing! Visualize walking to your car through the snow and getting in the cold seats and driving there in the dark. Visualize yourself saying no to the dessert you would normally say yes too. Visualize yourself putting yourself out there in scenarios that make you uncomfortable. Visualize feeling the discomfort AND DOING IT ANYWAYS. I think manifestation has gotten a bad wrap because we tend to romanticize our goals more often than REALIZE them. It is easy to see ourselves in our dream bodies, but generally in that vision we are not also feeling the feelings of sacrifices we made along the way to get it. We can see the millions of dollars in our bank accounts, working in our soul work, but do we also envision the sleepless nights, worry, and fear we had to get through to make it there? The point of this is not to DWELL on the difficulties, but to visualize experiencing them and doing it anyway.
At first I didn’t like this concept. I was like ‘hey- don’t take my cushy manifestations from me! I don’t want to make them as real as my every day life full of joy, love, trials, tribulations, fears- I only want to see them as the joy and the love!’ But what I realized after contemplation of her suggestion- is that we are creating a road map that gets us through the difficult terrain just as much as the easy stuff, so that we do not stop and turn around at the first sign of difficulty.
